The Happiest Days of Our Lives
by Snox-and-Foil
Summary: With sex and partying as temporary relief for his bleeding heart, Edward Cullen soon finds himself falling for the young rockstar Dick Jonass, aka Nick. Even with all the new found excitement in his life, Edward still seems unable to let go of his past.
1. Chapter 1

**The Happiest Days of Our Lives  
by**

**Snox & Foil**

To Em, Shu, and Sean. Without your undying support we never would have made it this far.

**Chapter 1 - Edward**

"_If it's you for me forever... If it's you and me right now... That'd be alright, be alright..._" Nick's voice rang in my ear. It can't be morning already. I struggle to raise my head to the clock strategically hung on the wall in front of me. 9:43. _Just five more minutes_, I silently plead, but Nick was already up.

"C'mon Edward, get up!"

My head is pounding as I stumble to the floor to recover my clothes, thinking about the night before.

"You feelin' any better? You were so out," Nick grinned, handing me a fresh towel.

"Heh, now that I've got you," I said, giving him a peck on the cheek.

I stammer my way to the bathroom, dragging the towel across the carpet.

I relieve myself of the toxins responsible for my hangover, and casually glance in the mirror. I prod at my hair, a mess too great for any comb to tame, and eagerly step into the warmth of the shower. 

The party had lasted until three in the morning, with everyone imaginable there. Nick had found a time when both of his brothers were off work, the president managed to escape his bodyguards, and even Jacob, my ex-boyfriend, came. With all the chaos of the party, it wasn't long until Nick and I found the time to sneak up the stairs and explore his vast king sized bed. Drunk beyond belief, I made love for the first time since my breakup with Jacob.

Jacob. It had been nearly a week since our separation. During those three years with him, I thought he was the one for me. Everytime I looked in Jacob's eyes I saw love, and felt so secure in this dark world. It's funny how fate plays tricks on its victims; we both wanted it to last, but his condition was just too much to handle. At the party we had exchanged a few friendly words, and gazed at each other perhaps longer than friends really should. _It was better this way_, I had told myself. He went on with his life and I with mine. And yet, something inside of me still craves his presence, his warm embrace and tender loving. It's so very strange to feel this way, to want something I hate so desperately, even though I know it'll only end in more tears.

When I was done freshening up, I went downstairs to the kitchen to find Nick wrapped in a yellow flower-printed apron, hovering over the stove as he sung. 

"Hey Eddie, you hungry?" He asked upon noticing me.  
"Oh quite. What's that you got there?" I questioned his bag of love-making accessories, being hungry for more boy action and a pint of blood than whatever Nick was planning for breakfast.

"A surprise, my dear Edward," he replied with a sly smirk.  
"Mmm," was all I could say, giving him a weak smile. I knew he was up to something.

"Well, have a seat, I'll be right over," Nick said, glancing towards his dining hall. 

I took a seat, contemplating what I should say when Nick arrives. In my hundred years of life I hadn't been with many boys his age, but I quite fancied Nick and his youthfulness. This was only our second day dating after falling in love at the party, but I already knew Nick to be a sweet boy, and much more submissive than Jacob ever had been.

"So, kiddo," I began, losing my words for a moment as Nick entered the room, carrying with him a tray, "you live alone here?"  
"Yeah. Ya'know, life of a rockstar. Gets lonely here sometimes."  
"Ah, I bet. Do you always do your own cooking?" I said, admiring the traditional English breakfast he served up.

"Why as a matter of fact I do. It's somewhat of a hobby to me, an art really." 

It's hard to keep my mind clear while watching him eat. He emits a smell too great... I gently reach my hand over to his leg, and begin to caress it. He instantly smiles and looks like he had been planning this whole thing. 

"Edward, you silly vampire! Get your mits off me," he let out a giggle. I did as he wished, and returned to sitting calmly, just wishing to have things my way, with him in my mouth and me sucking until he's completely drained. 

"Are we still going to the museum, Nick?"  
"Most certainly, just as soon as I'm done eating. Won't you try a bite?"  
"No thank you, human food just isn't my thing."  
"Suit yourself."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 - Nick**

Without touching him, I could feel the icey blood flowing through Edward's veins; his lips against mine, fangs ready to sink in. I still felt the freezer-burn inside of me that his icicle left from our first time together; the remaining zygotes of a demon stuck to the walls, clinging for life as they slowly melt away. When he clasped his hand on my knee cap I worried he would soon notice my hardness. But he didn't. I hid my excitement until we left my mansion and headed towards the main road, hand in hand.

After waiting nearly twenty minutes, a taxi was finally available. The driver pulled up and asked us where we were headed.

"The Museum of Rèkk-tâl Trâhmâ," I replied without hesitation.

Edward opened the door for me, sliding in right after. The driver attempted to make small chat with us before he turned around to see Edward's face blocking any communication from me. His cold hard lips pressed against mine, tonguing away vigorously as the driver started forward.

My hand slowly made its way down to the low of Edward's back as he began pushing me down to the long back seat of the taxi. The driver, staring at me through the mirror, watched in pure amazement as my Edward took hold of me. He began to run his beautiful, long, sexy fingers through my curly, brown hair. I began to flicker my tongue against his, taking time in between to gaze into each others loving eyes as we shared a long and loving kiss.

Edward pulled off my shirt as I started tugging against his scarf. We were soon stripped to our underwear when the driver interrupted.

"Excuse me gentlemen, but Rèkk-tâl Trâhmâ is within three minutes from here..."

"Well slow down then!" Edward growled.

"I go with the flow of traffic, I ca-" the driver started.

"Hey driver!" I shouted, flailing some bills in the air towards his greedy hands, "Take us around in circles so Eddy here can cram his meat into my butt."

The driver gave a sigh of frustration as he switched lanes to pause for more time. I looked back at Edward, seeing his eyes glimmer with passion at my words. I glanced at the driver then back to Edward who was strapping on a condom. He was ready for our little love affair.

"Is taxi cab sex your idea of a surprise?" Edward winked as he grabbed hold of me.

Before answering, I escaped his firm grip. I overpowered Edward, quickly pouncing on him and tying his arms behind his back. I proceeded to pull down his boxers with my teeth.

"I guess you'd say this is your surprise, your surprise buttseckz." I muttered with my teeth on his boxers.

Before I had a chance to get inside of my boyfriend, my head smashed against the rear door of the taxi. Our driver began his series of doughnuts in the parking lot of our local Walmart. Not exactly what I meant when I asked him to go in circles, and more so when I noticed three black cars with American flags on the antennas, and President Obama nearing the entrance of the store.

"Well if it isn't Ol' Baracky." I said, distracted.

"Oh, so it is!" Edward panted, relieved that I wasn't hammering him this instant.

"Driver, pull up here." I demanded, pulling on my pants and handing Edward back his boxers..


	3. Chapter 3

** Featuring guest author Danny Lawlrence!

Chapter 3 dedicated to Maddy. Ur v big insperashun 2 us. Ty.

**Chapter 3 – Edward**

I don't know how he managed to rip a hole in my jeans whilst trying to rape me, but Nick did nonetheless. I kept a mental note to discipline him this afternoon, and maybe get Obama tied in on the action. No, I must refrain.

"Come on babe," Nick giggled as he ran towards the store door, fist bumping Barack.

"Hey Barack, how ya' been man? You look great!" my boyfriend said, checking out the President's suit imported directly from China. I could feel the lust growing between the two as I redressed myself.

"Never expected to see you here of all places," I trailed off in an unamused voice, holding my face in a scowl so as to impress any pedestrians that should see my sparkles. As my eyes rolled down I realized why Nick was so interested in the man, his suit was superb! The cotton was twilled so perfectly by childish hands, the carpet dye staining every thread. Sweatshop workers truly are God's gift to Walmart.

"Yo niggas, dig mah muthafuckin suit? Din't even hafta' steal this muthafuckin' shit, nig. Ahaha!" Obama let off in his slang way, giving out an obnoxious laugh in the process. Nick likes President Obama because they are both up there with the pop stars. I have nothing but hate for the man. He may be big, but it isn't worth giving up my white purity for something so hedonistic.

As we entered the store some fat men wearing HOPE and CHANGE shirts starting flashing us. Inside I felt a little sad that they were only taking the pictures because of Barack, but then as Nick crept up on me I soon forgot. He wrapped his hands around my waist and began unzipping my raggedy jeans. I stopped him right as he reached half-way, turned around and began passionately kissing him.

As our make out session turned French I had to rip away. The temptation to suck Nick's juices out burned within me. I tore his shirt straight down the middle and pulled it away, revealing his freshly shaved torso. My tongue went down his neck, gently reaching his beautiful body.

As I was on my knees, about to remove my lover's remaining clothing, I heard that bastard President shout out:  
"Nigga! What you doin foo, not inviting me muthafucka?" My passion for Nick now turned to fury as I gave a death glare to my interrogator.  
"That does it, I'm leaving!" I yelled, leaving Nick in utter horror. I stormed outside of the store, my boyfriend, his friend, and his friend's fanboys following closely behind.

After I let off my steam and the President's security scared off the crowd, I tried my best to remain civil as we took one of the President's cars back to Nick's place. Nick and I began making love in his living room and left Barack on his own. 

Inside Nick's bedroom, Barack used his black people powers to punch through the wall in exactly the spot in the wall where he sensed Nick's weed was stashed. I was just finishing giving Nick a handjob in the living room when the president was tearing off the outlet to see if there was more. His jizz dripped into a small pool on the carpet, as we both stared, mouths agape. 

"WHAT THE FUCK?" exclaimed Nick. "You just totally ruined that for me! Seriously Eddie, how are we supposed to enjoy ourselves if this buffoon is wandering around stealing my weed!" 

I removed my hand from his penis. 

"Naw nigga it ain't like dat," Barack explained. "We can smoke it together, ya know what I'm sayin'." 

We smoked it together. 

We were sitting on the curb when a lizard slithered by on the ground. Barack noticed it, then looked up to see an alligator, barreling down the street as fast as an alligator can go, being chased by an animal control truck and two guys with nets. 

"I'LL HELP YOU!" Barack shouted, running toward them. He grabbed one of their nets, ready to capture the alligator, but he temporarily lost sight of it as it rounded a corner. He saw the lizard on the ground again and proceeded to hit it with the metal handle of the net.  
"SHIT, NIGGA! That was crazy!" He exclaimed, sitting next to us again. 

I went inside to clean up Nick's jizz stain off the carpet. Maybe it was just the weed, or maybe Barack wasn't such a bad guy after all.


End file.
